Your mother is having a nap on the couch again. She usually does this around four o\u2019clock, between two pints and cooking dinner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018She\u2019s probably napping\u2019, you tell her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Napping?\u2019, she asks. She frowns.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Yeah, she works night shifts\u2019, you lie. The idea of your mother having the discipline to commit to a regular schedule is hilarious, but your friend wouldn\u2019t know.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Oh\u2019, she nods understandingly. \u2018Right, I was like, who sleeps during the day?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You laugh loudly, and open the door towards the living room. Indeed, there she is on the sofa. A burning cigarette is still in her hand, and you need to remove it without your friend noticing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Hey mum\u2019, you say cheerfully. As you stand in front of her, you quickly grab the fag out of her hand. The hot ash burns against the palm of your hand, and in a fluent motion, you drop it in the ashtray on the coffee table.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018What\u2019s for dinner?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Hmm?\u2019, you mother moans.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018What\u2019s for dinner\u2019, you ask again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Owl\u2019, your mother says. Her eyes are still shut. You hold your breath, turn around, and walk to the kitchen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Owl?\u2019, your friend asks, and giggles while you open the tap to pour water into cups with syrup for both of you. She stares at your mother in disbelief.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Yes\u2019, you say casually. \u2018Have you never had it? It\u2019s like chicken, but nicer. And more expensive, by the way. You have to buy it at special farms, you can\u2019t buy it at the supermarket.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Your friend looks confused, you can tell she\u2019s thinking. You know her family lives in social housing, so this was your safest bet. You give her the lemonade and the two of you go upstairs to play Rollercoaster Tycoon on your dad\u2019s desktop computer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Why did you say we were going to eat owl\u2019, you ask later that day, when your mum is putting the ready-made beef teriyaki in the microwave, a meal she loved.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Oh, I don\u2019t know\u2019, she says. \u2018To make you go away.\u2019<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Your mother is having a nap on the couch again. She usually does this around four o\u2019clock, between two pints and cooking dinner. \u2018She\u2019s probably napping\u2019, you tell her. \u2018Napping?\u2019, she asks. She frowns. \u2018Yeah, she works night shifts\u2019, you lie. The idea of your mother having the discipline to commit to a regular schedule […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-125","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-then-theres-this"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/milquetoast.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/125","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/milquetoast.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/milquetoast.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/milquetoast.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/milquetoast.blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=125"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/milquetoast.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/125\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":126,"href":"https:\/\/milquetoast.blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/125\/revisions\/126"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/milquetoast.blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=125"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/milquetoast.blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=125"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/milquetoast.blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=125"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}